The Needs, The Wants and The Would-Like-To-Haves

In life, we learn new lessons every day; some we forget and some end up being the life changing perspective that we wish to spread to everyone we come across. One such lesson for me has been this “The wants, the needs and the would-like-to-haves”. Now, on the surface of it, they look very similar; they denote something or someone we desire to have in our possession or our life, but if you go a bit deeper, you would realize they are indeed very different. And understanding this difference can be truly life-changing.

It all comes down to how we evaluate something that has come in our life and do a cost-and-benefit analysis before we put effort into it in order to not just save energy and time but also, maybe avoid getting hurt. A lot of the times, we spend our energy on gaining something or mourning a loss of something that wasn’t actually adding more to our life than it was taking. So, what exactly is the difference, let’s get to it.

When we talk about the needs we are referring to the very basics; things necessary for existence and overall, a good life. They are the bare minimum that we need to effectively function in our lives. These needs could be social connections, material requirements or even intellectual requirements such as a steady consumption of good, enriching content to keep your brain and mind active and healthy. These are things you fight for and try your best to have in your life, even if it hurts to get there.

Then we talk about wants. Wants are what is partially a need but yet, it is something you can live without. It could be about wanting a relationship or a romantic partner or it could be wanting to become something in your life, or it could even be that pack of sticky notes that just looks too cute. Wants are something that should usually be evaluated in the context of their desire to comprehend the actual intention behind them. Do you want it because you can’t live without it or do you want it because it will make your life easier or do you want it just because you want it? Wants can sometimes even be irrational and that’s human nature, hence the requirement of evaluation.

Here comes the most interesting part and honestly, the most complicated; the would-like-to-haves. These are things you can definitely live without but would prefer not to. They are not some random irrational impulses but rather very well thought desires. These are your expectations from an ideal life which you feel would make you happier. But, what makes them tricky is, you are very clear about the fact that these wishes are not musts but would-like-to-haves. The things that fall in this list are hopes and dreams that you would do everything to fulfil but also, know in your heart, that you can do without. You may want to have an opportunity to live abroad but might also accept that not getting it wouldn’t necessarily ruin your life or make it any less meaningful.

I recognize that these are complicated classifications owing to how interlinked and overlapping they are in most circumstances and areas of life. But I can safely say that if you consider them before taking a major decision or even an impulsive one, 90% of the time, you can save yourself a lot of pain and complications in the future.