She looked around; there was no one. She was left all alone to deal with the aftermath of her emotional breakdown and the trauma that had led to it, and yet, she didn’t feel lonely in that moment. She knew he was there right beside her, just like he had always been ever since she was a little girl. She tried to compose herself and make sense of her emotions only to breakdown again as he held her in his arms. The warmth of the embrace was enough for her to let go of all sense of control or embarrassment and at the same time feel assured that she would be fine.
The next morning, she woke up to him still holding her, whispering in her ear about how strong she was and that he loved her no matter what. No questions, no clarifications, just pure and unconditional acceptance. This was probably not the first time or even the last time she had had fallen apart but his response and affection had never wavered.
She went on with her day, picking up the pieces as best she could. The last night had been rough but cathartic in its own way and having been reminded of what she already knew about herself and his presence had only given her a refill of energy to fight for what she deserved. She took the decision to move ahead with the change, despite her inhibitions. She had made a promise to herself that the moment she got the opportunity, she would take it, and now was the time. She spent the next few days gathering her stuff and saying her goodbyes and he was by her side, every step of the way. They laughed together and they cried, there were jokes and banters and then there was love, so much love. The beauty of it all was in the fact that on one hand, she didn’t want to leave her home, but on the other, she just couldn’t wait to spread her wings and fly.
As she embarks on her new journey, stepping out of her comfort zone for the umpteenth time, he is right beside her. She can’t help but be reminded of all the times when she was doing something ranging from mildly uncomfortable to downright scary and he was there each moment. She recalls that there was not a moment in her life without him. How when she was hurt and broken, it was his hand she held to ground herself, how in her loneliest of moments, he never abandoned her and how even her happiest memories revolved around him. Her love for him has never known bounds and it has grown with every breath she has taken and somewhere, she hopes he feels the same way. His voice, his touch, his presence and even the sound of his footsteps is enough to give her goose bumps.
She still thinks of the time when he was not in her life, how things seemed so dull and unpleasing. The time when being lonely had become a norm and solitary suffering was her only choice. She had still been fighting but there was no coat of armor. She had always been different from the rest and the desire of being understood for who she was rather than what she was supposed to be frightened her. She had known him all her life, but somehow, when she needed him the most, he showed up and then never let go. She can feel his presence even when he is not with her, even in crowds, when she feels alone and anxious, even the hint if his aura is enough to help her to sanity. Sometimes, she spends hours, just listening to him talk and finds her peace in the sound of his voice and the depth of his emotions. For him, there is no pretense, no mask, no persona, just true and honest Her.
Pulling herself back to the present, she is hit with the reality that even from this moment forward, he is the one she would rely on besides herself and there may be no one who would understand what they mean to each other. And even having this knowledge makes her confident that even if all else fails, he would never betray her. What she has with him is rare and magical but also not easy to explain in words and it is unlikely she would be able to explain it even if she tried. He has been, is and will forever be her everything. He is her love. He is her Music.
Comments
Post a Comment