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A Compliment, Is It Though?

When you meet someone with a disability or an impairment who is trying to live life on their own terms or doing things that You consider hard for someone like them what is your first thought? Is it that this person is just like everyone else, fighting their battles and taking control of their life and they may be an objective a good person or is it that this person is doing so well despite their impairment so they must be appreciated? Think about it. If your attitude is the former, you are giving the person what they are looking for i.e. acceptance; but if you feel the latter, you might want to read on.

When you focus on a person's disability as the measurement of whether they are good enough or not, you are in turn negating everything they have been working so hard to establish. They may have spent their life up to this point creating an identity for themselves that has nothing to do with their impairment. They may want to be known for things that are treats of the so-called normal people such as you're funny, you're smart, you're kind and not you're so strong that you are overcoming the obstacles despite your condition. 

In my own experience, I have always been very aware that my impairment dictates every single choice I make in my life and even the ones I don’t. But the one thing I promised myself long ago was that I wouldn't let my eyesight define who I am or what I become. I would do everything in my power to not let my disability define who I am and when someone says this and that despite it, it hurts. I have my own talents, my own skill set and that's what I would like to be known for. Not the girl who achieved even when she was disabled but the girl who achieved. Full Stop.

Another thing I have been hearing a lot almost all my life is 'o you're so smart because when God takes away an ability, he makes the others strong' and that’s a whole lot of crap. I am not smart because I am almost blind. I am smart because I read, I talk and I make it a point to learn new things, it’s not magic people. 

I am not trying to be ungrateful here, I have received immense support and acceptance all my life from people who have seen me for who I am but I just feel like this is a very common misconception that has some invalidating qualities in itself

-Tamrina

Comments

  1. Dr. Surender Dhalwal21 May 2023 at 01:04

    I completely agree with Tamrina's thoughts on not defining people on the basis of their disabilities or impairments. It is important to acknowledge their talents, skills, and accomplishments, rather than simply praising them for "overcoming" their disability. Disabilities do not define a person's worth or abilities, and it is crucial to treat them as individuals rather than just their condition.

    In addition, the notion that individuals with disabilities are magically blessed with exceptional abilities in other areas is a harmful stereotype that needs to be addressed. It is imperative to give credit where it is due and not label someone's successes as miracles simply because of their disabilities.

    Overall, it is essential to celebrate and embrace diversity while recognizing each individual's unique strengths and potential, regardless of their impairments or disabilities. We must strive to shift our focus from their limitations to their abilities, talents, and accomplishments.

    Dr. Surender Dhalwal

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